It’s time to WRITE!
Saturday, December 23rd, 2006No more drug court. I’m a free women. I can wonder the streets with no panties on and looking for dope all damn day if I wanted to. I won’t but I could. Keep in mind while reading I did swallow down 2 small white pills also know as “Ambien”. If anything funny should happen or if words become obviously misspelled just keep doing your best and trying to understand what it is I’m typing. Thanks. I want to use drugs. I don’t want to use heroin. I don’t want XANAX or ATIVAN for anxiety. I WANT a vicodin for my anxiety because THAT is what works for my issues. But that doesn’t happen here does it? DR’s can’t just fill narcotic bottles for girls who have anxiety issues. It’s not just the anxiety. It’s the OCD, the panic at night, sweating at night, the pain in my joints, shoulders, back, neck, head, ears. How many more tests are they going to give me to tell me welll MISS PAIN you’re just out of luck … guess you’ll have to go home, find a nice reclining chair, sit in it and not move for the rest of your life. Everybody will think you’re a pathetic fat loser who just doesn’t want to move. Which isn’t much different then what people think of me now. OH COME ON BITCH YOU CAN RUN WITH ME TO THE STORE? NO .. I CAN’T. MY KNEES AND JOINTS HURT I CANT GO. GIVE ME A PAIN PILL AND IN 30 MINUTES ILL RUN 5 MILES WITH YOU. I like to run, I like to ride bikes, play sports, tennis, swim, eat at nice resteraunts, go on vacations. But my life is over now because I can’t help for my pain and anxiety. The end. ..I COULD LOSE WEIGHT if I wasn’t in PAIN.
I’m sorry I haven’t updated but I have been ill. Again. The doctor said it was stress. It’s either stress or the bacteria ridden food at my work. Why don’t you stop eating the food at work? Duh. I totally will from now on but when you have been running around for 12 hours and need a quick bite you forget these things. Bacteria-ridden food tastes normal (most of the time) so you don’t know it was bad until you’re head is in the toilet. I walked by the TV a few nighs ago and my dad was watching The Factor (I swear I wasn’t) but Bill was talking about how works such late hours he HAS to eat out every night and that because of all the eating out he gets sick at least once a month. It proves my point that eating out is disgusting and you will get sick from all the bacteria. All this talk about illness and food that isn’t cooked right or heated correctly is making my OCD ten times worse. Okay. Next subject please! I’m going to graduate soon. I can’t believe it’s been ten months. So fresh and so clean, clean. 
SO. Today is the first day since .. Saturday that I have been out of bed during the day. My stomach feels good, my head doesn’t hurt but I am still tired. My lips are chapped from barfing and not drinking enough fluid. Well …back to work.
