i went to the a&e and my nose is broken. it hurts so much. i was at the doctors today, for another reason, and everybody was giving me so much shit because i have a big bruise on my chin, a split lip and a busted nose… nobody would believe the truth, they are convinced i have a boyfriend that is giving me a kicking. people giving you shit in the doctors surgery? well this just isnt any doctors surgery its the access surgery. appointments between 9am-2pm and 2pm-5pm you just drop in and wait to see a doctor and nurse. since none of us junkies and alcoholics can keep appointments, this surgery is exclusive to us, so we turn up when we want as opposed to making appointments we will never keep. its hellish. from 2pm i was waiting, until 4.06pm and everybody was drunk and fighting in the waiting room, and dealing drugs.

imagine my happiness when i looked in my pocket, found my cashcard, went to the ATM and found I had £100 in there. oh yes, the first i did was go to the dealers and get 3 Brown. it was crap, really crap, i did it all from 8.30pm by 5am in the morning. what a waste. anything to help me nose though. it hurts so bad.

i must go to the hospital. my best friend helen, 2 days younger than I, is in there. she is heavily jaundiced. consultant says she has 3 years maximum if she carries on drinking like this- which i am sure, she will despite the fact she is supposed to be going to rehab on the 31st. i cross my fingers though.

i am trying to give up drinking. only had a couple of special brew today which is good. only 9 units. ive decided i should go back on heroin. at least on heroin, im placid. whenever i drink, which is always, i feel like my Dad and as much as I love[d] him, i can’t put my twin nieces through what he put me and my sister through.

This entry was posted on Friday, January 19th, 2007 at 1:23 am and is filed under Everyday. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.