Seedless

Sitting in the SUV perched up high behind the tinted windows I look out across the street at all the young inner-city youth [redunant?] getting out of school, bad time for dope grocery shopping. As I patiently wait for my dope to be delivered I am flexing my arms, checking out my veins, deciding which one I should hit, etc. I notice a the sun glint off an object in the distance. The group of 9-12 yr old girls have begun encircled one of the other girls. All of them clad in bright poofy colored winter coats with a few sports team coats are thrown in for good measure. A quick circle forms as one of the other girls pull out a knife.

Not really believing my eyes and getting rather annoyed at the length of time I am waiting I start to lose myself in thoughts of old time city fights fought with fist or hand, knife or club. I drift off into old memories of high school fights. Its rare to see a good knife fight on the city streets of Chicago. My riding partner some girl that refuses to put up with disrespect for fellow human beings jumps out of the car and starts to disrupt the fight.

A Fire engine and Ambulance have there lights flashing on the next block over. I divert my gaze from the children and stare at a graffiti covered brick wall. The alternating red/blue flashes paint the bricks in a relaxing fashion sending me deeper into my trance. A knocking at the window interrupts my thoughts, 1 pack of rocks, a big package of small ziplocks with mini little ice-cream cones and 1 pack of blows, blue bags taped in blue tape.

I think to yell for my partner to get back in the in the car or she will end up getting hurt, instead I stash the dope except for one bag. Set my tincan on the center counsel of the Yukon rip into the foil and pour the powdery white flakes into my cooker. The squirt of water turns the mixture into a dark color and soon it is sucked up and inserted into my vein. I adjust the visor to block the sun beaming in my eyes, and toss the cooker. Honk the horn and yell for her to get in, were not on a life-saving crusade we are on a damn dope mission, get in the fucking car!

Riding the rush off into the distance, I let my passengers ramblings go in one ear and out the other. You want your drugs or what? 180 degree switch in persona occurs. I smile and adjust the CD playing.

Heavy on the bass

My minds for sale, here help me pick up the pieces maybee we can hide a few skeletins in the closet, creeaky old secrets when Jimmy is 50, 60′ish where he can peel back the bananna and can realize.  Is it a planned route of his physical and mental being or is it just fate.  He would like to ponder that thought with some early 20’something’ing over looking the green mountains of Vermont,  A big bag of the funky, skunky, smelly green shit sit’n in the middle.  Her hair in messy blondish pigtails, the weight of the world, drift away instead. 

How do I get by each and everyday, I am dont even try.  I ride on autopilot in the stars, its a desolated road, rutt filled and muddy.  How do I get by, I dont even try to hide in the bathroom to take my meds, or on my bedroom floor.  I have to see my general practicioner doc’ today, I dont want to take a shower, AT ALL. I scratch piece of paper gts blurred and torn from a soaking in pigment, the crystaline snow lays in blankets waiting for some snow angel to take a nap.  Tearing me outta of this broken diamond, my views are angled and skewed.  I should lay down and pray for awhile, I feel to effected by all this electronic vibrations, I can see echoing into my brain.   Grandam is sick should send her some good vibes and recharge myself too…

SCHWA

Peace,

Seedless

I didnt know what I was getting myself into…

heroin

Street corners, and Rolling Stones, amphetamines, clouded memory…what was I just saying.  Speed Kills, powders, test-tubes, and bunsun burners.  Inner city blues, shrieks thru the night as the city comes to life.  Red and Blue lights flashing ’round and ’round.  Two for one after dark.  Yellow eyes, shining with infection.  Down with disease, and I am laughing at the begining of dawn, pencil in my hand, and sauce-sized pupils staring back at me.  Depth of field is blurred, you dont care if you live or if you die. 

A fistfulla dollars somebody crying for a fix, another turning trix, yet another robbing you blind.  Conscious of a robot, programed for Stoned Immaculation.  Enter the war zone to get your medicine fix, cartoon like pimps, and scragely street corner tricks.  Industrial size horse needles, 23 gauge you think I give a fuck.  Refill my syringe with a rain puddle, watching the rainbows of gasoline ripple away from the point.  Gotta let that deal go down, your stomache is in your mouth and your mouth explodes your foamy puke, but the dry heaves, oh man, oh man, as the plastic crack smoke comes ringing out your ears.

You kick yourself and bitch and moan, motherfucker its 5am why is my dope spot only selling rocks, I am sick as a dog, why am I smoking crack?  The bellringing, electrifing buzz, rips you into the world of a paranoid.  My mind zips thru the glossy pages of the 2005 PDR I was memorizing while nodding out last night.  Squirming in my flesh.  I flip flop the decisions: should I go to the ‘McDonalds Pill spot’ I know my imprint codes like some people know the current events.  Baseball, hotdogs, applepie, amphetamines, and lsd.  Or should I buy a few more rocks and wait on the bag man and his “15 minutes” and the blows will be out.  [I.E. blows = smack, chunky rocky off white powder behold the power of numbness of the mind].  I decide to buy another rock, head toward the pill spot to try and pick up a gulp fulla methadone, or dilaudid or fentanyl. 

I really dont want eaither of the three but I am sick, my skin is gray, I am a wreck, I think about smashing my car into the stop-light just to get a piddly morphine drip.  Criminal element, tappin the phone.  Riding in second gear in the pre-dawn ghetto, the snow banks are gray, the scene seems to be watercolor washed with a eiree smokey dull gray.  The only light comes from the broken glass as it glitters on the street, thought you had a gram, popin ativan, triple chekcin’ your pockets.  Nose dripping like a ghetto motel bathroom facuet.  My and a friend have been staying at the Shamrock Hotel puffing on botanicals to get our heads clear.  Much like a cold winter night warming around the bonfire.  Except its 8am we have been up since last Friday, minus the unconscious nod-outs.  We met a prostitute next door that instead of turning tricks is more happy to swarm around the red-hot glass pipe, as chunk after chunk of crack gets melted into the brillo.  I have a slight fear about her pimp coming for his money and finding her with a couple of out-of-place doped-up-junky-fucks.  An odd sentiment waterfalls over the scenerio as the prostitute eye’s us both and asks if we want our cocks sucked for another few hits.  Shit naw, we want to flood our bloodstream with a backwash of liquified heroin. RIP>…..

I pass a side street off Independece Ave, on my way towards the Mcdonalds [pills-a-go-go].  Last minute decision I whip the wheel and slide into the turn slipping on the unplwed and icey side streets.  Boom into the curb, fucked up my steering, I spit out of the window as I lean back and flame the craack pipe with two plastic lighters that have been busted open and the flame turned up to a height of about 2-3 inches.

Roast bitch roast.

Clouds of smoke billow out my window as I unroll it at the next corner, I cant hear the dealers at first as I am deaf from the crack rush, my heart beating literally from my chest, addicted to addiction. 

Blows you got blows?  Is all I can must, Yeah Joe… Whatchoo want?  I’ll take 3, no make that 4 [I am not wasting my money, better known dope is to be had].  Ripping the bags open as I drive I balance my upturned popcan on my legs, I drop in 3 bags a mountain of powder gets liquified by my syringe.  Cotton gets dropped in and the nice tan colored water sucken up.  I tie off with my seatbelt and pull over to the curb on some street, I dont care where the fuck I am.  I lunge the needle into my arm pulling it half way out slightly geeked from the crack, my hands are shaking.  I hit a vein and slam the plunger home, ahhh.  Mother dearest I love you but motherfuck do I love you heroin.

I grab some xanax from the glove compartment and pop 4mg to help with my shakes.  I cruize the McPill-spot… typical sellers are out, codiene, hydrocodone, oxycodone, methadose, morphine [only MScontins over priced], dilaudid.  4mg Knoll’s for 5 a pop, I buy 2 and go thru the drive thru ordering a Cherry coke, I crush the pills and empty them into the upturned pop can, I sprinkle my last bag of smack over the pills.  Water, cotton, injection.  FUCKKKkkk… 

I drift back head slaming back into my head rest eyes fluttering riding the rush like a rollercoaster, if I die at least they will find me with a smile on my face.  Straight up fucked up, pulling curbies as I try to drive.  Mirrow, blade, and a pile of pure…   Will I ever change, guess it all depends bottles and cans, seeds and stems, can I borrow another tomorrow.  Gritting my teeth I want more, more, more… 

I stop off a a corner gas station and buy a mini bottle of Vinegar I my way back to my main dope spot the time is approaching 6:13′ish as the morning commute is starting to pick-up I notice the bus-stops are being filled up the faces all a blur to me.  Back at my favorite dope spot at the time, my dealer has finally got his lazy ass outta bed, bout fucking time shit.  I feed this fucker hundreds of dollars a day, I dont even like to think about it after 3 days worth of ca$h. 

Whats up drew…?  Shit man, fucking sick, I need 2 packs and 3 rocks, where were you earlier?  Shit drew this is earlier.  I lean back and adjust the radio, hoping my god will save my soul, talk radio, shitty pop, music, I throw In some Morphine ‘Cure for Pain’ and watch ‘Slim’ run back up to my car with my 24 bags of heroin and 3 rocks.  I notice multiple other cars are starting to pull up as they see the spot is open slanging that super smack.  Slim hands me my taped and sealed packs, and throws me 5 rocks, on the house Drew.  Thanks, catch ya tomorrow I mumble as I am driving away and he is running up to the next car.  I shoot some crack, slam another bag, and than retreat into isolation untill the sickness creeps back.

Inflicted with the madness of addiction and I just cant get enought of it.  I crave it like a 14 yr old craves lsd on home-coming weekend, like a 17 yr old craves, pussy on prom night. 

Just walk away… To much wrong for me to stay, Just walk away…

Instant Karma’s gonna get you
Gonna knock you right on the head
You better get yourself together
Pretty soon you’re gonna be dead
What in the world you thinking of
Laughing in the face of love
What on earth you tryin’ to do
It’s up to you, yeah you

Well we all shine on
Like the moon and the stars and the sun
Yeah we all shine on…

The hairs stood up on my arms, as I heard this song wash over the radio I was listening to as I was jotting down incoherent notes as I watched NOVA on the television screen.   Instantly a voice came over than me told me to copy those opening lyrics into a journal post, and than just let what comes to mind flow out.

Life is Life, and a Dream is Dream, but is a Dream, Life? Dreamsicle orangey icecream smeared on your face as I lick it like a dog with a fat tongue, ok next.. ha.

Sad awaking for a couple of my old acquaintance’s [I dont know if I brought this up before] but about a month ago a old acquaintance mother passed from cancer and his friend, one of my friends also but his next-door-neighbor started boozin early at the memorial service for his mom. Of course that lead into smoking crack, handfulls of xanax, valium, and methadose pills, probabably some IV coke came into play and of course heroin. The ‘next-door-neighboor’ was never a big heroin user as long story short ended up OD and dying. There are alot of ‘unknowns’ about what actually went down. But the two kids he was with one was on parole the other on probation, they were geeked and tweaked to the goard and freaked. Supposedly dumping the body off at a play ground on a park bench for a group of three 8 yr olds to find. Thats the basic story, the questions unanswered are where did he die? When did he die? Was the body moved after death? They did steal his money and drugs out of his pocket, some friends eh’? Personally I think they dumped the body off when he was dead but I talked to them and of course all had different stories.

They said he was doing way to much heroin, [he never really used it, more of an upper guy, or I should say was]. So they brought him to a park semi-conscious figuring he would wake up and walk home, come on… Dumbasses. I said if you were so afraid of the repercussions of the law for turning in a person still semi-conscious but not yet dead. Why didnt you AT LEAST call from a payphone 911 and report the incident so the kid could be pulled out of his OD. The answers I got were alot of um, ahh, well we should have, I dont know. The answer is because the kid was dead already you fucks. So fast forward a month…

Last friday the States Attorney announced the charges against the two kids [friends of mine for over 20 yrs., real good friends]. The handed down: Drug Induced Homicide [carries 20-40 yrs, something like that] and the second charge Involuntary Manslaughter [carries 4-8, possibly more]. They set the bail at 1 million dollars.

I feel so bad for those guys sitting in jail facing those charges, one is on parole so the bond is void the other I dont think his Dad will put up the 100K to walk just for the fact of the disturbing scenario. Although I could see him doing it and than the kid slip-sliding away into mexico and disappearing for good, you never know. I have been getting a few calls from one of them collect from the jail but I have refused to answer them as I dont want to be involved but part of me is curious as to what he has to say. The other side of my could careless about them sitting in jail as that could have been me that they left on the park bench. It was always an unspoken code that you get the OD’er help IMMEDIATELY no matter what. It pisses me off to no end that they let a good friend die because of there selfish tendencies. Its pretty cut and dry even one of them told me it could have been prevented but they were so out of there minds up on a 2 day binge of extreme amounts of drugs.

Sad, sad, shit I tell ya. I just thank God that I have been clean and staying away from that whole scene utterly and completely. That could have been me, ugh. They new the guy for shit over 25 yrs. makes me sick they didnt seek out help. Karma was bound to get them eventually because god knows the shit they have done in the past has been evil.

Myself I am doing good, I cut back on my Adderall dosage because I was going crazy and not sleeping for 3-4 days not eating and I think I lost 13 pounds in 1-2 weeks. Sick and delusional I tell ya. I wont even tell you how much I weigh well because it will disgust you as it disgusts me, BAD. Even my doctor was like what the fuck, you look sick. Well no shit 90mg of Adderall a day will do that to someone, not to mention the plethora of other drugs I am on. I went back on a low dose of Risperdal for helping me gain weight that shit increases my appetite sooo much. Unfortunately its an anti-psychotic, which I dont really like but has less side efffects than Seroquel which I normally use for sleep. I am not a skitzo I just take low doses for sleep because not much works for getting me to bed basically nothing but a anti-p, sad. So I switched from taking Rozerem [great sleeping med BTW, but no increase in appetite.] to Risperdal. I would alternate before with Rozerem/Ambien/Seroquel/ and occasionally Trazadone. So now that I am not a geeked out adderall taker, I should start to pack on some pounds. Also my doc put me on a prescription Vitamin [didnt know they had those] its called ANIMI-3 [contains: Folic acid- 1mg, Vitamin B-6- 12.5 mgs, Vitamin B-12- 500 mcgs, Omega 3 Acids- 500mgs, -DHA 350 mgs, -EPA 35mgs], I was starting to have a bad kidney infection from the no sleeping and eating from the Adderall, my kidney tests came back elevated but fine, part of the reason I decided to decrease the Adderall besides me going completely INSANE. Yeah, yeah, I know why dont you just get off all your meds and eat healthy, easier said than done. I havent even worked for shit 6-7 years now for A] not wanting tooo B] not having to C] feeling afraid to work. Yeah I know I am fuct-up you dont gotta tell me. I am not on disability or any of that crap I dont believe in that, [for some maybee, but I dont need it].

Otherwise I am happy, and been busy hitting meetings tending to my HUGE cacti and flower gardens, havent even went out to a bar for a drink since getting off home monitoring which I have a hard time believing, it disgusts me yuck. Plus now I have much more spending cash for things I want like clothes [been buying WAY to much], music shit, I am in the process of building a new computer [so all you guys piggy backing me on your free ride say bye-bye soon, ha, if you only knew]. I am doing great, recently have been hanging out with an OLD girlfriend of mine that I used to go out with when I was like 14-15′ish. 15 yrs. later not much has changed were still the same people for the most part, lol. So that be that, kinda getting prepared in slow motion to make move to somewhere else in the city [Chicago] as I need to start off on a clean fresh slate, my baggage around here is far to heavy to carry. Not to mention there is nothing for me in this leafy well-to-do environment besides chase after young girls, but that gets boring quick. Sigh, what to do today, what to do…? Exercise go shopping for gardening close out sales? hmm choices.

Patience runs out on the junkie
The dark side hires another soul
Did he steal his fate or earn it
Was he force-fed, did he learn it
Whatever happened to his precious self control

Like him I’m tired of trying to heal
This tom-cat heart with which I’m blessed
Is destruction loving’s twin
Must I choose to lose or win
Maybe when my turn comes I will have guessed

These are the horns of the dilemma
What truth is proof against all lies
When sacred fails before profane
The wisest man is deemed insane
Even the purest of romantics compromise

What fixation feeds this fever
As the full moon pales and climbs
Am I living truth or rank deceiver
Am I the victim or the crime
Am I the victim or the crime
Am I the victim or the crime
Or the crime

And so I wrestle with the angel
To see who’ll reap the seeds I sow
Am I the driver or the driven
Will I be damned to be forgiven
Is there anybody here but me who needs to know

What it is to face this fever
As the full moon pales and climbs
Am I living truth or rank deceiver
Am I the victim or the crime
Am I the victim or the crime
Am I the victim or the crime
Or the crime?

The-One-With-Out-Seeds…

Colorado - 1994

Returning back from a short visit to the parental figures and the innercity, Jimmy is strapped with a multiple grams of heroin as he steps of the small airplane, glad to be on the ground and back home in Crested Butee. His friends are in the lounge waiting with fingers crossed. I grab my carry on bag and join them, small talk ensues and the main issue is brought to light. How much did you bring? I laugh and tell them just enough for me, your going to have to stick with your tar smack, while I hit the slopes with my rocky powder. We all get into the old battered 4-Runner and zoom back into town past the downtown strip and into our condo. Where’s the dope? Alright call down, here is a gram for you Brent, a gram for you Kris and a 1/2 gram for you Zieter, that leaves me with 3 grams before I have to switch back to colorado dope, yucky tar. Although this town is a Sitterpharmaceutical free for all from all the ski/board injuries I prefer illicit medicine to ease my pains. We all sit down in front of the roaring fire-place and rig up together, I just do a small shot as I have been banging dope the whole day across the country and in the sky. I settle back with a Fat Tire Ale and listen to the gossip about whats been happening in town since I left. Nothing the but usual wild parties, insane amounts of cocaine, and girls. What day it is is unimportant to me as everyday is the same, wake up late, click into my bindings and ski skate out our back door and ride the gentle slope to the ski lift thats a 2-3 minute glide for us. No waiting on the ski bus. I want to see Jenny but she is off visiting her parents for winter break, all the better I am to stoned to get it up.
Zip————–

New Hampshire 1997

I open the door to the growroom and I am met with a bursting aroma of heat, slight humidity all intertwined with a handful of strains [Shiva Shanti, Northern Lights, NL #5, Skunk red hair] all the real deal aquired from a trip across the sea. I figure on 3-8 days till harvest depending on what plant. They are being starved of water these previous days in an attempt to squeeze every nanogram of THC and its friends into the arm length buds. I shut the door and sit on the floor and look at my face in the crinkled mylar attached to the corners of the room as to not loose any light. The two 1000 watt HPS suns are glowing strong. I can hear taylor downstairs blasting some beatles music… Quote: It’s getting better all the time, I used to get mad at my school, the teachers that taught me weren’t cool I lay in the neatly organized rows of plants and marvel at this grow bumper crop for sure. I will do 2 more watering 1 today which is a mix of carbonated water and fruit punch. The dry plants soak up the sweet tasting brew and I hope my intentions will be realized and I will have a little bit tastier smoke.
Zip——–

California - 1999′ish

I really forget lol stoned on the beach some girl I have known for 2 months trying to convince me not to rent a sleeping space in one of the sailboats in the harbor, why dont I move in with her. Whaaat…? was my reply. I just happen to get involved with this girl on a random notion I was bored. I dont like her place even though its nice I just dont feel right about it. I stay for a week and make up my mind no matter how good the sex is I dont want to live with her. Thinking back I wonder what could have came out of that scenario? Shit I could be a movie star, or dead, or a model, or a beach bum, or strung out on speed and shitty tar? Who knows maybee I would have finished school as UCSB. What would have been will never be known. Its days like this that I wish I would have taken that chance just to see what it brought me. Instead I didnt for reasons I know not. My eyes dripped with tears the day she drove me to the airport to return home. I should have given her a chance. Oh, well thats life.
Zip—–

New York - 2002

Another place where I wish I would have given a better change there were many opportunities out there for me as strong connections were abound, instead I wasted away shooting coke and heroin. I should have stayed. Who knows where I’d be today. Dead? Or successful? Its an expensive place to live our rooftop apartment rented out for 3500$ a month?!?! Insane, just as I was. Thank god for friends and Western Union and Mommy and Daddy. Bad place to try and clean up, I’ll leave it at that.
Zip—–

Chicago - 1995′ish

Our small apartment was set back from the street and I drownded myself in booze to avoid negative forces pulling me back into narcotica. Too many drugs to many problems. The city just wasnt in my plans this season as I needed leafy quite retreats not a 10 minute jaunt to heroin heaven. I remember somebody filling up the needle out of my fishbowl to shoot a shot of rollercoaster cocaine, I had enough. Bail on the lease.
Zip——

Outskirts of Chicago - Summer 2005

Going slowly insane and tired of medications tired of life and tired of everything. I am protected from life living here as everything is frozen in time. I still get a daily allowance, I still have needles stashed, I have a nice car, I have a bank account, I have copious amounts of pill bottles, I dont work, I party part–time [which is probably 60 hrs a week to most ppl] as of late. I have everything I need but a damn girl friend the last 2-3 g/f’s I flew thru were of no real interest to me just a mere fuck or suck, although I do seem to have a strange attachment to the last one even though I truly didnt like her and its still fucks me up. Its only been 5 months since my last girlfriend and I need a new one badly, mainly for my emotional state. I know something will happen soon, I will make an outgoing attempt soon as I am a pussy and just wait for girls to come to me. I dont want this to be a summer of 1-5 night stands. I want a girl that I enjoy her company to lay with me in the wooded backyard at night drinking booze till I feel looped just holding her in my arms content. I wonder if it will happen, time will tell I guess. 11 years of undetailed memories.
“Down To The River To Pray” As i went down to the river to pray Studyin about that good ol’ way and who shall wear the starry crown? Good Lord show me the way! O sisters let’s go down Lets go down, Come on down O sisters lets go down Down in the river to pray As I went down in the river to pray Studyin about that good ol way And who shall wear the robe & crown Good Lord show me the way O brothers lets go down Let’s go down, Come on down O brothers lets go down Down in the river to pray As I went down in the river to pray Studyin about that good ol way And who shall wear the starry crown? Good lord show me the way O fathers lets go down Let’s go down, Come on down O fathers lets go down Down in the river to pray As I went down in the river to pray studying about that good ol way And who shall wear th robe and crown Good Lord show me the way O mothers lets go down Come on down, don’t you wanna go down? O Mothers lets go down Down in the river to pray As I went down in the river to pray Studin about that good ol’ way And who shall wear the starry crown? Good Lord show me the way O sinners lets go down Lets go down, come on down O sinners lets go down Down in the river to pray As I went down in the river to pray Studyin about that good ol way And who shall wear the Robe and crown? Good Lord show me the way whats next I ask you?

[old post] Will this summer be different than the last? A question I always tell myself it will be. I would give my pinkie finger for the ability to change my lifestyle. I can do it, I just have to make the effort.

Just a bit of a reminder to myself, if I forget and read this in the future…

I collect pharmacuetical memorabila: pens, highlighters, medicine ads, pharmacuetical stuff, mouse-pads, old pharmacutical books or PDR’s,  etc.  I was cleaning up/out the basement these last couple weeks and found some great stuff.  Couple nice HUGE 10×12 inch color pharmacutical ads for Valium and some other meds, semi-new from some old 1950-1985 magazines.  Than I moved on to an old [1900-1950’s] collection of newspapers and founds some better ad’s some nice old cough syrup ad’s, syringe kits, morphine, etc.  A nice big huge full color ad from Coca~Cola when cocaine was still a ingredient in the soda.  It has a nice little quip stating something along the lines of ‘put some pep into your step with Coca~Cola’. 

Than I found this great 1932 newspaper article called I forget the exact name at the second, ‘Confessions of a Hidden Female Heroin addict’ something along those lines.  I wish I had a scanner to scan it and post it up on here as it is a great article describing opiate addiction back in the day.  I am a fiend for stuff like this, she talks about how her doctor is mulling over if he will prescribe her 4 grains [130mg’s if my memory on what a grain is serves me right] of morphine to hold her untill her dealer returns from a trip to NYC to pick-up.  Facinating stuff, to me at least this article is about 4 pages long and that pages are huge some nice black/white illustrations typical of that era and heroin much like the original cover to the 1rst edition of Burroughs Junky.  There is also one other heroin article from 40’s or so concerning a mans stuggle with heroin and morphine addiction, all in pristine condition.

There is a ‘original’ Roore Quaalude pharmacuetical bottle on auction on ebay atm, but last I checked it was up to like $70, its not worth that much to me, it is but idk it kinda is, I have been debating on getting it I think I waited to long and the auctions over, hrmp.

I love stuff like this and am always looking to add to my collection so if anybody has some old magazines or newspapers with some nice pharmacuetical ad’s or stories or even old pharmacuetical books [I have some good ones] or such I will gladly take them off your hands.  I also like collecting newer pharmacuetical items the pharm reps give out to doctors.  I clean my doctor out every visit, I got so much shit,  I know its not the best hobby but its something that I like and enjoy.  This is one of my favorite sites concerning this material this one mainly focuses on older items 

I have to find a scanner to scan in these old heroin articles as they are great.  I think I have one in the basement but its old and crap.  I’ll have to figure something out.  What that is IDK, scanners cant be too expensive these days.  Maybe the Library has one that I can use and just save to disc.  I just get into this kinda stuff and I am sure a few of you guys would get a kick out of it too.

So if you have some stuff you dont want and feel like getting rid of I will gladly take it off your hands.  If you want $, Ill pay if its something I want.  So if you have some stuff laying around please, please feel free to contact me and I will discuss buying or trading it for something you might collect that I have.  Just hit the ‘contact me’ button on the right hand sidebar or leave a comment and I will get back to you.